Before I moved, my mother made a comment that she bet that I would lose weight when I moved out...not exactly sure what she implied, but the comment stuck with me.
I hate to admit this, but it seems as though the opposite is true. It seems lately that I've become extremely lazy with exercising...out of control with my eating habits and using extremely bad judgment with what I eat. It doesn't help either that my roommate and I end up going out to eat...a lot. This weekend alone we went out for a late meal then drinking on Friday night, went out to dinner on Saturday and breakfast today (Sunday). Since we don't often eat here at the house there's not always "healthy" foods that are easily accessible and so I find myself snacking on junk when I'm at home...considering the fact I rarely eat lunch at work, by the time I get home I head straight for the junk to tide me over until dinner (and no, I do not buy the junk so it's not just a matter of NOT buying it).
I'm discouraged. While I haven't gained enough to have to go back up a size in jeans-I feel and see that I'm getting a bit too flabby. I'm leaning towards wearing baggy clothing again in an attempt to hide the fact that I'm gaining weight.
So I guess it's time to really start pushing myself to take better care of myself. I've got to convince my roommate that it's just not a good idea to constantly go out to eat, I've got to actually go to the grocery store and pick up healthy snacks to have around the house and try to find the time to actually cook a meal or two a week. I've got to take the half hour a night to exercise. I've got to start packing a (healthy) lunch to bring to work so that when I get done work I'm not tempted to stop at a fast food joint for something to eat.
I'm not going to put a set weight that I want to lose. I just know that I'll feel better once I begin to eat healthier, get some regular exercise and stop eating out all the time and just leave that for special occasions.
Yesterday started out badly.
It was the day I was scheduled to take my CDL Road Test and I was stressed out. I was awoken a half hour before my alarm by the ringing of my cell phone. It was my boss, wanting me into work a half hour early.
My friend and I got into a disagreement before I left the house-which left us both in tears.
By the time I got to work I was a nervous wreck and barely got through the morning. I was late to meet up with my driving instructor that was taking me to my road test (though, I still had plenty of time to make it on time).
It was pouring rain and for the life of me I could not parallel park successfully.
I braced myself for failure and hoped for the best.
By some miracle I passed the driving test...perhaps not with flying colors, but I passed. I managed to parallel park on the first attempt. I did nearly collapse after it was over, I actually started crying with the relief of getting through it and begged the instructor to drive home as my nerves at that point were completely shot. Thankfully he happily obliged.
I got back to work to warm wishes of congratulations by my boss and a coworker. I was finally able to calm down enough to concentrate on some paperwork left by the house nurse.
I came home and my friend and I made up and went out to get coffee. My friend hadn't canceled plans afterall so after a quick trip to her sister's to grab a slice of pizza we prepared to go out with our friend.
The evening ended at a deserted bar where we took control of the jukebox and had a good timed planning a few future weekend trips. We arrived home after 2am and I promptly feel into bed and passed out from the combination of sheer exhaustion and the couple of drinks I ingested during the evening.
Tomorrow is Friday. In the eight years that I have been gainfully employed, the expression "TGIF" finally applies to me. I have to say, it's a good feeling!
It seems as though every job I've had up to this point have required me to work weekends, with the exception of one job-but as I was in college at the time and also working part time at another job-weekends were still filled with work.
I didn't exactly mind having to work weekends, weekdays do have their merits-but let's face it...all the "fun" stuff happens on the weekends. If I decide that I want to indulge a little on Friday night with everyone else...hey, I can do that without the worry of how I will feel the next day.
The only "bad" thing about tomorrow being Friday is that tomorrow is when I'm scheduled to take the road portion of my CDL test-and of course it's suppose to be raining. Just my luck. But hey, at least it's Friday!
I have fallen out of the loop when it comes to current events.
Just a few short months ago I was slightly obsessed between watching CNN and listening to National Public Radio (NPR)-but since I've moved and especially since I started to work, I've fallen out of touch with the news. It doesn't help much that this is a Fox News household-which I dislike intensely. So, with the combination of everything-I feel quite ignorant on what's going on in the world.
And I feel really badly about this. With the upcoming election, if feels crucial to have an understanding of these things in order to make an educated selection in the voting booth. As a citizen of this country I feel as though I should know what's going on with the rest of my fellow citizens.
So I think that it's time to pay more attention to the news, actually take the time to seek out news stories and not depend on other people to give me updates.
I have a new job!
No, not really. I do however have a new position at my current job. I swore that I would find a new job all together...but when I was offered the position by my boss I didn't hesitate to accept it. It's a Monday to Friday position, with hours that work MUCH better for me (I won't have to wake up at 4:30am)...and the job itself is a bit more challenging which makes me happy.
Today was "officially" my first day with my new position. I was actually awake BEFORE my alarm, and felt completely rested. I had my breakfast instead of skipping it in favor of a few more minutes of zzz's. I actually put makeup on. Things were going really well this A.M.
Since I had a few extra minutes I decide to stop to get some coffee...and that was the start of my bad luck. The place I stopped at doesn't seem to understand the concept of "fast" in the morning...which put me behind schedule...then I hit school traffic that I did not anticipate.
I dealt with the holdups without any issues. Hey, I got my coffee so I'm happy. Then...not three minutes from work I went around a bend and well, my cup of coffee (which I WAS securing) decided to go flying...all over my leather seats. Considering I was now running late, I had no time to deal with the mess.
So now my Volvo smells like coffee-granted, I do like the smell of coffee. Just not in my car.
It seems that rude people are everywhere. On a daily basis I deal with the rudeness of strangers and sadly, I've become kind of immune to it. I just try not to take the rudeness personally and enjoy those brief moments when I come across a well mannered person.
I had the fortunate experience of coming across a very polite gentleman today while shopping at Sears. In the space of about fifteen minutes or so I had no less than four encounters with him and each time it made think that perhaps nice people really do exist.
I first "met" this man while waiting to purchase a new blanket. He was ahead of me at the register and his purchase was not coming up at the correct price. He politely questioned the discrepancy to the cashier and turned around to me and apologized for making me wait. As he wasn't being an ass about the situation to the cashier I just smiled at him and assured him that I was patient. I was eventually able to check out and I met up with my roommate who was still shopping.
As my packages were heavy I decided that while my friend was waiting in another line to check out, I would take my bags to the car. As I was heading out I ran into the same gentleman from the register. I held the doors open for him and he thanked me. After putting the bags away I headed back inside, and the gentleman was heading in the same direction and this time he insisted on opening the doors for me. It was really nice of him.
Before I went shopping today I was not in the best of moods. I was aggravated by work and a bit low in spirits. By the time I left the mall and headed home I felt lighter in spirit thanks to the kindness of this particular stranger.
Did I ever mention that I have been having to get up at 4:30am for work? Well, I have. Thankfully though, today was the last day I would have to get up so bloody early-at least on a regular basis. I don't think I have to point out that waking up at 4:30am is not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. On good days, I would leave work feeling completely wiped out. On bad? Well, lets just say that it's a miracle I've made it home at all.
Today wasn't a bad day, but it was a busy day. I have recently started a new position and unlike my last position which was pretty simple and straight forward, this one is a lot more complicated. In addition, I'm also receiving training for taking a Road Test for a CDL license, and the training requires 100% of my attention/concentration. By the time I left the site I could barely think, but I still had the lengthy drive back home.
I wasn't even a mile down the road when I missed a turn. Not a big deal, I just drove down the road a bit until I came across a housing development where I could turn around. I turned around and after stopping to get some lunch I found my way to the highway.
I've traveled this particular highway so many times since I've moved to NY that I usually never run into problems. I'm usually very attuned to the signs and have never had a problem getting off at the correct exit. Today however, I found myself driving past my exit...and heading for the bridge that spans across the Hudson River.
Thankfully I did eventually make it home, and in one peace. In my travels I discovered that I'm actually pretty good with finding my way around unfamiliar areas and I located the train station that would take me straight into the city...a very easy drive. I think though from now on, I will be paying much more attention to the exit signs and get off at the right one.
There is always so much pressure starting over in a new place. It doesn't matter if it's a new physical location-or a new space on the world wide web-there's always an enormous amount of pressure to make the best first impression that you can. Sometimes at the risk of losing who you used to be.
Sometimes losing yourself is exactly what you need. I know that in a lot of ways, leaving everything that I knew behind was one of the best things that I could have done for myself. When I was living back home in the Garden State I immersed myself into a safe little bubble. At the time, putting myself there was an act of survival. It was a means of getting through the pains of adolescence somewhat unscathed-but once the threat was no longer imminent I choose to continue living that way instead of allowing myself the freedom of fully experiencing life. In my case, in order to mentally move on I had to physically move on.
It has not been a smooth transmission. I have had to fight my way through quite a few unsavory situations that I have found myself in. I have dealt with the pain of heart break. I have dealt with a potentially serious illness with a member of my family. I have dealt with the disappointment of finding myself in a job where I felt unliked and unwanted by my colleagues. Worst of all I have dealt with becoming detached from my favorite past times due to time constraints and unmotivation...nearly every day the thought of repacking my Volvo and heading south occurs to me but somehow I always find the energy to last another day.
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